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Two weddings and no funerals

Woa. Has it really been almost a year since I last wrote on here? That is somehow not hard to believe. This past year has been an absolute whirlwind. I got married in March to the man of my dreams. And sister #1 is getting married in 5 weeks to the man of hers! Two weddings within 7 months from each other...I'd say that makes this year one of the most memorable of our whole lives. Sister #1 met her man last year, and they are absolutely perfect for each other. He is sober as well, which I think has been a really great thing for their relationship. Marriage for me has been wonderful so far. I know we are still in the "honeymoon" stage, but that doesn't mean we haven't had to deal with some hard things. My husband (I'm still getting used to saying husband, EEP!) got laid off from his job the month of our wedding. I know these things happen to many people in life, but it is still nearly impossible for his self esteem not to take a blow from it. It was hard for him to feel like he wasn't contributing to our new life together financially. That time was definitely a lesson in patience for both of us. He recently started a new job he is excited about, and so that has been a huge blessing!

I don't know if I have spoken about it much on here, but I am a nurse. And when I got my DUI, my nursing license was on probation. This was a huge stressor in my life because I had a list of extra tasks I was responsible for to comply with the probation. I had to check in with my employers daily for them to make sure I wasn't under the influence at work. I had to drug test randomly any day, after work, on vacation, on holidays, you name it. I have not been able to leave the country. I was responsible to attend AA meetings and a Nurse Support Group every week. I had a list of continuing education courses they required me to take. I had to get any prescription medication I was on approved by the nursing board and signed off by a Dr. The list could go on, and I am not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me. I am just trying to paint the picture of what my life has looked like for the past two years and some months. But as of August, I AM FREE FROM THE PRISON THEY HAD ME LIVING IN. I couldn't believe it when I first found out. I am actually able to work as a normal nurse without any restrictions or anyone collecting my urine weekly. I cannot fully explain the burden that has been lifted from my soul. It was a constant thought in the back of my head for years. Now that I'm free I honestly don't know what to do with the free space in my mind. I need to find more hobbies that bring me joy. I have started trying to learn piano again, I am writing on this blog again, I am going to more yoga classes. Who knows what else I will feel I have the energy for. I am so grateful I was able to successfully complete the program and move forward. I finally feel as though my adult life is beginning. I am able to be more present and invest in my marriage. I still have some work to do with my anxiety, but I do think it has gotten better. I get anxious about my job, but I think it is because I am still a young nurse that has a lot of experience to gain. I will get more confident with each day. That is something that will require patience from me. At the end of all of this, my sister and I are still sober for about 3 and a half years now. It feels so incredible. I have learned that when things feel impossible, they usually aren't. It just takes some perseverance and some people in your life who will love you through the rough road. Cheers to 2019!!! It has been a year of such rich love and joy. And it isn't even over yet :)


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