90 days for sissy #1- Be Brave
Today is #1's 90th day of sobriety!! Our sober birthdays are only 4 days apart from each other so it makes for double the celebration and excitement when we get to see each other. I am seeing her in a few minutes actually, and I am going to surprise her with a little gift to remember this special day. I am so proud of her for pushing herself each day and getting through those nights that might be filled with boredom or loneliness without turning to a bottle. At the moment, I am not living alone so this is a little easier for me to have my roommates around keeping me accountable. #1 is doing it by herself in the guest room of a random family's house, where I can only imagine the loneliness creeping in and tempting her to have a drink. I have so much respect for her for the strength and bravery that she has shown by staying sober in this living situation. My living situation has not exactly been a walk in the park either because my roommates still are very much attached to their wine and "going out on the town" lifestyle. They do not have a problem with alcohol, so this is completely fine for them. But it does get difficult to be around our apartment because it is usually stocked with up to 8 bottles of wine on the counter, some tequila in the freezer, and a dozen beers in the fridge. It is not so much of an issue that I am tempted to sneak drinks when they aren't home or anything like that. It more just kind of bums me out that it can be such a regular, normal thing for them while I ended up getting addicted and not being able to touch the stuff. But hey, to each her own right? I am learning to be grateful for discovering my addiction because now I will be living the most healthy, mindful, and happy version of my life. Deciding to live a life of sobriety in this day and age where alcohol is such an accepted and central part of social events, is extremely difficult. I think it takes incredible bravery to dive into those situations with your head held high and a smile and be able to say, "no, I'm good. I don't drink!" I used to try to think of what I would tell people when they asked me why I'm not drinking. I would practice answers such as, "I'm taking a break for a bit" or "I'm doing a cleanse." But why is it that I felt the need to even say something like that? I think I was partially embarrassed to say that I was a non-drinker now, especially around people who have seen me be the life of the party times before. They might ask me why and my answer from now on is going to be "I decided its a better lifestyle for me! Alcohol and myself don't mix very well." And that answer needs to be accepted. #1 and I have talked about how awkward we might feel on a first date because it is kind of the norm to meet someone for drinks or at least get a drink when you go out to dinner. Instead of feeling awkward and trying to cover up the real reason I am not ordering a glass of wine, I want to become comfortable saying that I'll have water or an iced tea simply because I DON'T DRINK! Anyone who finds this odd would not be the type of person I want to be dating anyways.
I am so excited because #1 and I have decided to be roommates starting in 9 days!! I think this will be such a good environment for us both to have each other for company and support in a place with no alcohol. Today we are going to check out our new place and make sure everything is good before we move in :) I cannot wait!
So #1, today on your 90th day I want to challenge you to go into this next phase of sobriety being BRAVE. I want you to be brave in the social situations where you might feel embarrassed to say you aren't drinking. I want you to feel brave when going on a first date and ordering an iced tea at dinner. I want you to be brave when you have to balance the stress of work, and internships, and social life all while staying sober. I want you to remember how much I believe in you and how proud I am of you. I got you a giving key today with the word "BRAVE" on it. I will wear mine that says "STRENGTH" while you wear yours. We will feed off of each others strength and be brave in each day that is ahead of us as we tackle difficult times together. I love you!!!!! Let's start this new chapter as sober sissy roommates!