1 year sober and feeling restored
Well, yesterday was my very first sober birthday!! I felt so loved and cared for by those in my life who know about this huge accomplishment for me. I have a couple of friends who have been on this journey with me and made sure that I felt how proud they are of me for making the decision one year ago to live a sober and present life. Sister #1 was so sweet to me also. When I came home from work there was a bottle of Martinelli's with shiny pink ribbon on it and such a thoughtful card attached to it. It is easy to casually go through the daily routine of life and forget about the incredible life change I have decided to make with my dear sister one year ago. We truly have grown so much in the past year that I wouldn't even recognize our old selves if I saw them walking down the street. We would have been skipping along, buzzed off of happy hour, margarita Monday, taco Tuesday, wine Wednesday, thirsty Thursday, or basically any other excuse to waste the day away drinking and having conversations with absolutely no substance or meaning. We would be going to buy gum at the grocery store so we could sneak back into our parents house without them smelling booze on our breath. We would try to decide who was the more sober between the two of us and should be the one to drive us home. Boy, am I happy to not be that girl anymore. Sister #1's one year is 3 days away from today! She is following closely behind me and I am so proud of her as well. I know it helps that we have each other, but ultimately, we have each made an individual decision to change the course of our lives and really start living.
I feel so grateful for the breath in my lungs and the ability to feel every bit of pain, exhaustion, and stress that my body is capable of feeling. I am not big on going on runs, but sometimes I do it if I feel the need to work up a good sweat and get my body moving. There was one run in particular where I paid very close attention to everything my body was telling me. I noticed the pain in my chest from my lungs working harder than usual to breathe. I noticed the aches in my knees from the impact of the hard cement. I noticed the burn in my glute muscles from pushing myself up a long hill. For the first time ever during a run, I felt grateful to feel these things. I thought to myself how I was saved by the grace of God and He gave me the ability to keep moving my body even when it is painful. This experience also goes along with the feeling of emotions that I am now able to feel whenever they present themselves to me. I do not hide things or cover them up from myself. I am authentic and raw and honest about what my heart is telling me, even if it hurts. One year ago I would have never thought I could make it a year without consuming alcohol. But here I am one year later, still standing and stronger than ever.
I am alive, I am sober, and I am restored! Bring on year #2 of this awesome life :)