Gratitude

I have a question. Why is it so hard to focus on all of the good things we have in our life? And not dwell on the negatives? hmmm. My brain automatically jumps to what I don't have and what I'm missing. I caught myself on our family cruise a few times daydreaming about what it would be like to sip on a glass of wine or 3 at dinner (and by sip I mean guzzle). My brain can many times tell me I'm missing out on the fun everyone else is having. But when I take a step back, I get my perspective back. The perspective is that I suck as a human being when I drink. I am reminded that I am so blessed with such a strong family support system who wants sister #2 and I to thrive in sobriety. I want my heart back...my old good heart that saw the good in everything and treated everyone with love. Alcohol made me feel so selfish. Don't get me wrong...I'm still pretty selfish as a sober person. But we're all a work in progress right? Also...Life isn't always about "feeling good." The hardest part is retraining my mind to be patient and train it to know and understand that it does not need that instant relief or gratification from booze. It doesn't ever last. And it never fixes anything. Plus, sister #2 and I are fun without it! Today I'm choosing to focus on everything God has given me. My sweet family, my supportive friends, my cute apartment with sissy #1, unlimited food whenever I want, my job, and my internship. Let me elaborate a little bit. When I got my DUI last year, I was fired from my internship for grad school. It was really hard. It took me a year to find another one...but now I have one! What a happy thing! Lets live with thankful happy hearts. Let's focus on the positives and be thankful. Let's THRIVE. We can do this!

xoxo

Sister #1